So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
