if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
