# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize