i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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