too bad you live with your parents still
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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