That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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