Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
