Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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