i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
