I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
