Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
