I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
