He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
