can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize