I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
