You can't special order awesome
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
