I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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