All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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