I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize