Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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