All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
