We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i think i just lost a toe
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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