do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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