u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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