Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
