Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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