i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
