sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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