I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
