'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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