Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
