I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
