Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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