She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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