I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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