i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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