I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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