last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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