I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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