I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
