It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we made out on top of his cat.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
