Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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