my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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