We won't sleep together?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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