Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
