that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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