just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And then my night got REAL pukey
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
