i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
