I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This is my gift to your gina
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Enjoy the penises
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
