I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
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You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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