I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
