He kissed a someone with a penis
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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