we have officially lost it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
