Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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