I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
