we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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