i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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