Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
