Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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