There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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