dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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