hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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