If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
